Often times people shy away from speaking up, especially women or people that are in situations where they are not the known authority. In Judy Murphy's book, Assertiveness: How To Stand Up For Yourself And Still Win The Respect of Others, she explains the difference between being assertive and being aggressive and why it's good to be assertive.
Being assertive is standing up for oneself even when faced with adversity, when others disagree with you and try to influence you to another way of thinking, feeling and even behavior. It takes a lot of courage and self-respect, self-love in order for someone to be assertive. Many of us have been led to believe that if we are assertive, we are aggressive. They are actually opposites of each other for an act of aggression has nothing to do with love or respect nor for the person who is the recipient of the aggression or the aggressor. It is merely an expression of an attempt to have dominant control over another.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book for two major reasons. I am a huge advocate of personal development and this is an extremely powerful message that I feel every person, especially women, should hear.
In my experience working with women and now networking with them at professional and social events, I see that many women still have poor self-esteem despite all their radical movements and changes throughout the year. They lack self-confidence and too often become submissive to the will of others, even to the point of sacrificing their own happiness and desires. Too many have grown accustomed to being agreeable and not making waves.
In this book, Ms. Murphy gives people permission to say no! As business professionals, we must know that I can also be an advocate for others by allowing them the freedom to make their own choices.
It's my belief that this book should be read by all people but particularly women. More could have covered about feelings of guilt, past experiences that tend to cause us to less assertive. These concepts introduced at an early age, say teenagers would be more preventative than attempting to teach after the fact when belief systems have already been embedded in our brains. Perhaps moms could share it with their daughters. The differences between being assertive vs aggressive were not foreign to me. However being mindful, respectful and open to the feelings and opinions of others was an added bonus and something I had not really consciously thought about. I like being aware. Aware of other people's viewpoints and feelings as well as my own. Sometimes we don’t even know why we feel or think the way we do. Becoming and being mindful of our thoughts, our opinion, and our behavior is a start to being aware and allowing that change to happen within us.
In the book Ms. Murphy offers self-assessment evaluations that can be used for personal use and as tools with your team or group. This knowledge helps you to establish better communication with your people, your students and team members
Highly recommend it!
All The Best,
P.S. Leave a comment if you've read this book. I'd love to hear your views on it. If you'd like to get it, grab it here.